Wednesday, 20 June 2012

Fobby Food

This post is a compilation of a few stories about my mom's special relationship with food.

Two Pots of Rice:

If you were to walk into my parents' house right this very instant, you would see two pots of rice on the stove; an old pot and a fresh pot. The old pot is typically whatever didn't get eaten the day before, or the day before that. The fresh pot is usually no more than a day old.

Since the "two pot" phenomenon arose as a result of my mom's inability to throw away food, she is solely responsible for eating the old rice, and is strictly forbidden from eating the fresh rice.

However, every now and again we catch her trying to sneak the old rice into my dad's lunch. Nice try, buster!

Mommy's Ham:

Old rice isn't the only thing my mom sneaks into my dad's diet. One time, she was making macaroni and cheese for herself and my father. She cut up some of "her ham" and deliberately mixed it in with the macaroni and served some to my dad.

After a couple hours, my dad started to feel a little sick. It didn't take long before the hints of indigestion turned into a full blown gwai lo diarrhea attack!

We busted our mom for sneaking her rotten ham into my dad's macaroni, but ultimately it was my dad who paid the price.

Digging into the Archives:

A couple of years ago my family and I were "de-frogging" our freezer and as we were emptying its contents we found some meats in there from the late 90s.

As we began tossing the ancient meat, my mom began her full-scale fob protest.

Despite the fact that my mom could probably pound back a few 15 year old bison burgers without even triggering her gag reflex, we had a sneaking suspicion that the old meat would probably just get forgotten in the freezer for another 15 years. So we decided to put our foot down and stand up to our little mother.

Still, she wasn't going down without a fight. My little brother had to literally restrain our 95 lb mother as my sister and I chucked the frozen meat. Sorry mom :)

My mom's prefered use of free return address labels

Click on the picture to read what she wrote!

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